Life Plans

The problem with life plans, is that they seldom go according to plan. I'm pretty sure that's my own spin on some sort of famous quote that i don't have the time or the gumption to research the original source right now.  Maybe Benjamin Franklin, or Thomas Edison or someone old, dead, wise and fancy like that.

I had planned on writing this post about two weeks ago, but obviously it didn't happen.  Which is probably for the best, because two weeks ago I was in a very different mindset than I am now.  I was mad, hurt, mad, confused, mad, depressed, mad... because once again, my life wasn't looking like I had planned it to look.

Here's a timeline of what my life plans have been:

Late teens/Early twenties life plan:
Married by 25, kids by 28

Twenty-five came and went and I was still single and still no kids.
Granted, I had done some travelling, lived in Australia for 6 months and definitely was enjoying life

Mid twenties life plan:
Married by 28, kids by 30

Twenty-eight came and went and I was still single and still no kids.
Granted, I had survived a horribly abusive relationship and I was fortunate to not have any kids as a by-product of that.

Late twenties life plan:
Married by early 30's, kids by 35

My early thirties came and went and I was still single and still no kids.
Granted, I had traveled around the world by myself for 5 months, had put my life back together from the fiasco of my former relationship, had learned how to live alone, had developed an amazing relationship with God.  Many, many, many good things came during this period of singleness.

Early thirties life plan:
Married by 35, kids by 38.

I am 35 and I am still single and I still have no kids.
Granted, I have relocated, live downtown, changed careers, am going to school, ditched the car, have lost weight, am more active and healthier than I've ever been, enjoy my life more than I ever have and have a ticket to India booked for November.

I truly believed that I heard God tell me that I was going to meet my husband and have that relationship begin in 2014. I had people come alongside me and tell me they believed that along with me.  I was unstoppable. I kept myself open. I put myself out there.  I put my plans for my life on hold so that I would be available to any and every guy I met who could possibly be the one.  I even dated one guy for about a month, and he was East Indian.  I thought I'd hit the jackpot.  Except that God very clearly told me he was not the one for me.  So I reluctantly let that go, despite the fact that I felt like I would be missing the boat if I walked away from the relationship.  Regardless of how unfulfilled it left me.  I was going to be obedient, because I knew God had the best for me, somewhere.

And yet, here I am now.  It's 2015.  I'm 35... and a half.  I am still single and I still have no kids.  I missed my boat.  Why did God not come through with what I felt I so clearly heard him tell me.  Why am I still waiting.  Why is everyone else's life moving forward while mine is stuck in "SINGLE".  I spent that last month of 2014 wading into the pool of misery, depression, anger, self-pity and rebellion and fully submerged myself into that pool during January and have spent the first half of February working my way back out.

My life plan now...
Achieve a double major degree and have a kid via good old fashioned science by 40.

Wouldn't it be ironic if this go around my life plan wasn't achieved because of a relationship and marriage.

Hello there, old friend.

The thought crossed my mind recently to pick up blogging again.  Not because I'm setting off on another amazing adventure; although depending on who you ask, they'd say my normal life is an adventure, but more so because I needed an outlet for all of the stuff that goes through my mind. If you're new here, you can read the archives from 2011 to see what I'm referring to.  I didn't want to start a brand new blog, because a lot of what happened during that time has shaped who I am and how I think today.  So, instead, I just revamped and re-branded this one so that my history is still accessible.

I'm not doing this to be cool or hip or trendy or make money or become famous.  I'm doing this because sometimes, you just need to know that someone else is going through the same crap that you are.  And sometimes, you just have to get stuff out of your head and out into the universe for it to leave you alone.

So, I guess an update is in order before I start rambling about other stuff....

Since that last post in August 2011, I had a full year of being unemployed at home in Vallejo where I continually witnessed God's faithfulness in provision.  It was actually just a few days short of a year when I started working as a temp at Wells Fargo doing boring bank stuff.  The one industry I didn't want to go back in to.  But when God provides, you don't say no, and that was exactly what God had done.  I was within a week of being out of unemployment benefits, so I didn't have much of a choice.  The funny thing is, I was looking at relocating to Carson City with my brother, even had a job interview lined up, when the job in Oakland opened up.  I endured that job and commute for nine long, grueling months.  During that time I continued to look for a permanent job, continued to apply for and be overlooked for jobs that I was very, if not, over-qualified for.  I had started working with the youth at my church during that time and while I longed to relocate out of Vallejo, I didn't feel like it was time for me to do that yet.  Eventually, the youth pastor left and at the same time, I heard, very clearly, God tell me it was time for me to move on from Vallejo.  I started looking at all kinds of cities to move to... Chicago, Atlanta, New York, Boston... anything far from Vallejo and preferably out of California.  I started to settle on the idea of relocating to the Tacoma, WA area with my cousin, but first I had to see what would happen with a couple applications I had pending, that I assumed would amount to nothing.... HAhahahahaaaaaaa.... yea, God had something else in mind.

It was His plan for me to get an amazing job in Sacramento with the county that I quickly moved out of and up into another job that I absolutely love and enjoy within the same office. I have found myself living within walking distance to my office in a unique, beautiful, large apartment that I also love.  Living a pedestrian life without a car, subsisting on farmer's market shopping and living a very European lifestyle.  After trying out a few different churches, I finally succumbed and went to one of the first ones that was recommended to me in the area and it instantly became home.  I just started college this month, for the first time ever, which I also love. I have a trip back to India planned for later this year.  I'm still single and still have the best companion on the planet in the form of an orange cat named Jack.

So there you have it... there's an update.  Now I can get into the nitty-gritty of life... the hurt, pain and confusion of life... in the next post.

Now, about tomorrow!!

Today is my birthday... I'm 32! I'm sentimental in the fact that on birthdays, significant anniversaries and new years, I look at my life, where it's at, what I've done and where I want it to go. I have to say, the last year has not been a disappointment!

I've been thinking a lot over the last several weeks and even more over the last week about if I will continue this blog after I've gotten home and life has returned to normal. I've decided not to. So effectively, this will be the last post. :( Now that I type that with the intention of posting it, it makes the finality of everything seem really REAL!

The adventure will never end... life is meant to be an adventure!

The adventure will just start to take on a different shape. So now that I'm not traveling and don't have traveling at the forefront of my mind.... I've registered with a temp agency and will continue to look for and perform temp work for the next few months. Provided the door is open when my circumstances are ready, I plan on moving up to Portland, Oregon and working again with the company that laid me off. They did want to keep me before I left and made it very clear I was welcome back when I got home. Ultimately, it was a very good company to work for... the office and management I was working under in Larkspur was what made it so miserable. I've been to the Portland office before and there's a very different vibe, a much better vibe. After I've been there for a year, I'll be eligible for tuition reimbursement again and can go to school to study international finance. Ultimately, I plan on moving back to Calcutta to do micro-financing. This however will be several years down the road!

In the meantime, the adventure is in the form of moving to a brand new state, much less city! I plan on learning how to roller skate in the interim and once I'm settled wherever that will be after the holidays, I want to join a roller derby team. Don't ask me where or why, but that just seems like a fitting competitive activity for me! And then there's school... for the first time ever, I'm actually excited about going to school, taking real (math and english) classes and having homework. Oh yeah, and then there's the book that everyone keeps telling me i should write....

No one knows what the future really holds! I have these plans at this moment, but this could all change depending on what opportunities are presented to me.

I'm excited for the new adventure that awaits me!

Lessons learned on the road!

Here's some thoughts that crossed my mind and observations that I made that I actually wrote down specifically for a posting when I got back. I'm quite surprised I didn't lose the piece of paper!

• We all laugh at the same things, regardless of where we're from or what language we speak!
• Every culture has their own definition of beauty.
• Every country and culture has both beautiful and ugly people... inside and out!
• "Big" is only looked down on in the western world.
• Children's temper tantrums sound and look the same no matter what country you're in.
• Not enough American's travel... specifically I mean to third world countries/areas.
• Never underestimate the power of a smile. It was one of the most effective and helpful tools I had... regardless of whether or not there was a language barrier.
  
• Coca Cola and the Japanese are EVERYWHERE!
  

Istanbul, Turkey

Considering the fact that I had barely any money, this was a good city to be in under those circumstances. It is a beautiful, fascinating, culturally rich city that one can enjoy and eat in for very little. You can easily live it up and have an extravagant and expensive time just as easily as you can get by for 10 Lira a day, which is under $10.

Here's some of what I saw for free!

The Greyhound!

There will still be a post about Turkey with pictures, but all in good time.

Now that I've been home for a few days. Am working on getting myself settled and making my apartment resemble what I left... I figure I'd take some time to tell the story of my Greyhound trip.

First of all... I think Greyhound has a bad reputation. At least on the west coast; but I will also say, it's almost rightfully earned. When I boarded the bus in NYC, it was all normal people just traveling from one place to the other. It's not uncommon to not have a car in parts of the east coast because transportation networks are so well developed. However, after Pennsylvania, the further west we got... the more interesting the passengers got. No matter how weird or sketchy some of the passengers got, the company actually has some pretty strict rules, which are announced regularly on the bus.

I was on the bus for almost 3 full days. I left NYC at 8am on Friday and arrived to Sacramento at about 1am on Monday morning. And for three quarters of the ride, it was an older bus. Which after boarding a new bus in Salt Lake City, it turns out the older bus was much more comfortable. Rather surprising actually. Or it could have just been that after 50 hours on a bus, I just couldn't reach a point of comfort any longer. I was lucky enough to have relatively empty buses where I didn't have to share a seat with anyone except for maybe 12 hours of the trip. And even then, both people I shared a seat with were relatively normal and nice. Despite the fact that I was able to stretch out, there were periods where my butt just HURT!! It was a relief when we had stops, to be able to get out and stretch, but it was never pleasurable to be getting back ON the bus.

As for the people.... One of the people I shared a seat with was an older gentleman traveling from Ohio to LA for a reunion. He did political walks... you know the kind where someone walks across the country to promote awareness of whatever situation. He was very nice, a little odd, and towards the end, very annoying. There were people on the last leg of the trip that I'm pretty sure were snorting drugs in the back of the bus. I saw more "hookups" in a couple days than I expected. It's amazing what can happen on the back of a bus between two people, relatively close in age and of the opposite sex. The thing that baffled me, that I guess just shows you how guys really are, and girls for that matter, the girl or the guy, weren't really good looking. In fact, they were down right nasty looking. So there was one couple with a normal good looking guy and a skanky looking girl and then another couple with a beautiful girl and the guy was down right disgusting looking! To each their own I guess. Then, my favorite and the one that started making me reach my limit... when I got on the bus somewhere in the midwest, I don't remember where exactly... The old mexican cowboy who was sitting right behind me, had a cough that kept being coughed right into the back of my head and which I had to smell.... it smelled like horse butt. It made it hard to sleep because when he would cough, it was with enough force that i could feel it and it actually moved my hair. This might actually explain why I've not been feeling to hot for the last few days. Another favorite was the mexican guy who got on the bus after the bus driver told him it was the wrong bus and then the bus driver discovered him on the bus at a stop several hours later. The said bus driver, was NOT a nice bus driver. \

It was quite the adventure and definitely a fitting way to end the trip in general. I've gone and seen all these other parts of the world, but have never seen the full U.S. This definitely helped eliminate that situation to an extent. I drove through New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada and finally arrived in California.

Home Sweet Home!!

After three days traveling across the country via Greyhound bus (which you better believe will have it's own posting within the next few days!!) I am finally home in Vallejo.

I'm currently at my mom's place... my brother and I will do the swap-a-roo later today so I'll have my place and my car back. I just wanted to check in quickly to let everyone know I've made it home safely. Several more posts regarding the trip are still to come. But I need a day or two for my body to figure out what time zone it's in!

It's good to be home!