IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!

I just bought the first set of flights through Airtreks!!!!!!!

I'll leave SFO at 11:50 am on Wednesday, February 16. A day earlier than I'd planned, but $140 cheaper than I'd planned also! I arrive in Singapore at 11:45 pm on Thursday, February 17. Then I have confirmed flights from Bangkok to Kolkata that leave at reasonable times and arrive at reasonable times. Along with a flight from Channai (Madras) India to Colombo, Sri Lanka!

I think I'm going to go run around the block screaming at the top of my lungs now! I don't know which is greater, excitement or nervousness!

And here's the kicker..... Because I bought the tickets through AirTreks, I have medical insurance already included. Comparable to the insurance I was looking at purchasing on my own. This just keeps getting better and better!!

lets be honest....

I'm terrified about what I'm getting ready to do!

I might put up a good front, and I have my days where the excitement does genuinely out weigh the nerves. But the closer it gets, the more undeniable it gets that it's really happening and the more nervous I get.

The only thing I can really surmise it to, the nervousness that is, is the fact that I'm no longer an innocent 22 year old. That's when I would have been in my hay-day doing this. But 10 years and lots of life has happened since. I'm older, more cautious and jaded. I don't look at life with innocent eyes any longer, I've lived and I know what's really out there in the world. I know about all the ickiness that I was oblivious to before. I know that not everyone is nice or can be trusted. And I'm going out on this adventure alone....

A New Toy!!

I had been planning on waiting until next week to go buy my new DSLR camera. But after having lunch with my mom, I decided to go get it today. I was really nervous before going to get it, big purchases always freak me out, even when I've been planning them for awhile. But I knew I needed to get this sooner rather than later so I could become acquainted with my new friend.

So I went to Costco, plopped the box for the Nikon D90 in the basket and was looking around for memory cards and flash drives. When I finally find them, there's an employee by the Nikon cameras who asks me if I have any questions or need any help. So I was starting to tell him I'm getting the D90 and he blatantly asks why I'm getting that one instead of the D5000. I wanted to laugh and be like, "DUH, it's more expensive therefore it must have better features!". I had done research on the D90 and liked what I saw, but never really compared it to the D5000. So here I had at my disposal an employee who had the same plan and mindset as I; and did all the research and ended up buying the D5000.

Long story short, I walked out with the D5000. For my purposes, the features and functions provided by the D90 couldn't justify a $500 price jump from the D5000. The D5000 is going to be sufficient for me for several years to come. I was also able to get memory cards and flash drives without worrying about how much money I was spending. At the end of the day, I walked out feeling better about the purchase I made than how I felt when I walked in about the purchase I was going to make. All I need now, is an extra battery.

FAITH... among other things!

While I don't kid myself that there are tons of people reading this blog who don't know me at this point. I don't doubt that my audience could expand to include a larger crowd of people who don't know me in the future as my travels start and things get more interesting. Either way, this first, or second paragraph is more for the people that don't know me, than those that do. Although my friends may learn something new and get a better glimpse into how I think and why I do things the way I do.

Even though I don't loudly proclaim it or obnoxiously advertise it, the fact still remains that I am a Christian. I'm not a huge fan of proclaiming this because there are so many negative connotations associated with that label. There are people that have tarnished an association that should represent unconditional love, mercy and grace. I'd much rather say that I love God and let my actions represent my beliefs. I am very very very human and will never proclaim to be perfect. Another reason I'm not in peoples faces with my beliefs and convictions is because I had my time when I was living a different lifestyle and know how annoying it can be and how much of a turn off it can be to those who don't believe the same way. Like I stated before, I'd rather let my life do the talking.

Now with that being stated.....

I've come face to face with one of the biggest, longest running struggles of my life. FAITH!!!

I am very much of a "I have to see it to believe it" type of person. Very doubtful and cynical and when it comes to money... I prefer having more than less. It makes me feel safer knowing there's a buffer and a cushion in my bank account; especially as this adventure quickly approaches. So, it's the end of January, all my money has been paid out and I'm looking at real numbers as far as my trip budget. The good news, it's more than I was anticipating. The news I'm having a hard time with, I'm tithing on it. For those of you unfamiliar with this, I'm giving 10% to the church. It's not the tithing I have an issue with... well, maybe that's not the most accurate statement. It would be much more comforting for me to be able to keep the money in my account as a safety cushion and know its there and know I'll be covered and there won't be any chance of running out of money and being able to enjoy a few more luxuries here and there. Instead, I'm being obedient and am having to trust God that he will definitely provide and that everything will work out. Let me clarify something quickly; I'm not going out with an unrealistic budget, with some insanely small amount of money to live on for several months. I just like that security of having the extra cash.

So, here goes, the first of what I'm sure will be several lessons to allow myself to grow as a person and be molded into who He wants me to be.

*BIG SIGH*

By the way, 22 more days!

Today's Activites

Around Christmas time I was at my mom's house and I noticed she had a copy of 1,000 Places to See Before You Die on her bookshelf. So I took it, because she was obviously not using it! In addition to looking thru it previously, I've been recording the episodes of the related show that have been airing since I first realized it was airing again. On that note, I think the couple they picked to do the show are lame and I'd be waaaaaaay better at it!! ;)

Anyways, today's been dedicated to looking thru the book at length and marking places in the different locations that I want to see. So far, I've only flagged, SE Asia and am about to start on India and the rest of the destinations anticipated.

From Esther's Adventure P.S. A special thanks to the giant nameless corporation for the post-it sticky flags! :)

Jack

According to the countdown timer on my phone, and assuming there are no further complications and I leave when I'm planning on leaving, I have 25 days left.

Twenty-five days to spend with my furry four legged little boy named Jack. I always feel like the crazy old spinster cat lady when I talk about him. Because he is my family and as weird as it may sound to some people, I love him like family. However, I'd like to clarify, I'm not the crazy old spinster cat lady, because I only have one cat!

This has been the hardest aspect for me to deal with regarding the trip and being gone for so long. I can handle being away from my friends and family. The world has shrunk considerably with the onset of the internet and social websites and smart phones. However, a cat can't use these things. He's the one thing that I won't have any access to while I'm gone, unless I'm willing to submit myself to my brothers ridicule and assuming he cooperates and lets me babble like a crazy person to Jack on the phone; which I probably won't do. Part of the reason I'm having a hard time with being gone is because when I went to Italy, he ran away. The poor girl house sitting felt awful. Luckily, I wasn't gone for more than two weeks and he was only gone for a week and came home as soon as I called him. But 9 months is a little longer than two weeks and not as easy to survive for a very spoiled house cat outside on his own. So, in the meantime, the best part about being off work is I get to spend all day cuddling with my boy.

Anyways, since Jack is like my kid, I have to show off some pictures of him. How can you NOT get caught up with an adorable little fur ball like this!?

Costco and Altoids

Today I spent the day with my wonderful friend Cheryl!! We make a point of getting together once a month to eat at a place either one or neither of us have been to before. I'm going to miss these get together while I'm gone, even though I'm sure my waist won't. So today was that day. But the best part of today was since I'm not working, we were able to actually meet for lunch and spend the bulk of the day together. So what did we do, we went to Costco and Target so that I could get my toiletry stuff I needed for my trip.

The other day I mentioned how I'd started packing my toiletries and first aid stuff. But I was still missing my deodorant and face lotion among a few other miscellaneous items that I wanted to have for my trip. So today, I acquired all those items. I even started packing up hair stuff and earrings. All of this is part preparation for my trip and part cleaning my apartment up. My brother insists that I don't have any of my girlie crap laying around while he's living there. Which is understandable. So I figure I'll kill two birds with one stone and start packing stuff that I'm not going to be using between now and when I leave and getting it out of the way for when I am gone.

The other thing I decided to pack because I could see it coming in VERY handy is a flashlight. I thought of this when I ran into a small little flashlight while I was packing stuff up. But then I remembered, I have this AWESOME LED flashlight in an Altoids tin that a friend made. I'm totally taking my Altoids light!! I also gathered all my random things of lip balm and packed them all in different spots. I think I have about 20 tubes, all different brands and flavors. I lose these alllllllllllllll the time, I'm sure by the time I get back, I'll be down to one, from having lost all the others!

On another note, I'd mentioned yesterday that I've been having a hard time with this unemployed thing. I seem to be settling into something of a routine and adjusting and acclimating myself to the new lifestyle. Things are looking up!

Identity Theft

I've come to the realization that I found more of my identity in my job than I realized.

I'd spent the last 6 months looking forward to this week. When I wouldn't have to wake up every day and drag myself into a job that left me wanting more out of life. And now here I am and I feel... I don't know how to classify what I feel entirely. My friend blames part of it on the fact that my cars not working at the moment, so i'm house bound and have no way to really get out and do anything. Which, I'll admit, probably contributes to the way I'm feeling. But I don't think it's the root cause or the only cause for that matter.

This whole unemployed thing is taking a bigger toll on me than i would have ever thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting at home with the blinds closed and wrapped up in a blanket refusing to face the day or go on with my life. But I feel a loss and almost a little empty. Regardless of how much I didn't enjoy my job, I could always say, I'm Esther and I work at this place doing this. Now if I was to meet someone, what would I say? I'm Esther, I'm unemployed. Granted, I'm about to take off and travel the world, but that almost seems immature and juvenile compared to having a profession to proclaim and being responsible.

In addition to the feelings of losing my identity that was wrapped up in my job, I have nothing to do. I'm very proud of myself in the fact that I spend time alone, on purpose to make sure i can be content by myself. I think it's important for someone to be happy with themselves and to be able to enjoy being alone. Especially being single, I think this is important to achieve before getting into a relationship. So, for all this "spending time alone" stuff that I do... I'm always doing something. I've never taken time to be alone and to just sit and be still for an extended period of time. I HAVE to be DOING something. So being at home, with no job and no car is really REALLY starting to get to me. I don't know why I can't just sit and enjoy the peacefulness of not having to be anywhere or do anything, but it's excruciating. Part of me wonders if there's parts of me that I'll be forced to deal with and that's why I always keep myself busy. Or if it's just that I have that part of my dad in me where I can't sit still and not do anything. Which brings up memories of being a kid during summer vacation and different things that have happened in my life. Which as I think about it, probably explains the underlying need to be doing something. Like I'm searching for approval or recognition that I'm never going to get and don't need at this point in my life.

I guess what it all boils down to is... It's time to move on. I'm in a different era in my life and rather than question it, doubt it or fight it, I need to embrace it and adapt. It's time for me to learn how to stop and smell the roses and enjoy smelling them. Not just getting a whiff as I run by on my way to accomplish something else.

BORED!!!

Work is over and I have no car and am home alone with my cat bored out of my mind. I only have so much laundry to do and my apartment is only so big and can only be cleaned so many times. I've been catching up on random older sitcoms airing on the lifetime channel. I think I'm about ready to pull my hair out from boredom and here's the best part... today's only the second day of not going to work!!!!!!!!! WAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

On the upside, I started the packing process. I have a couple clear vinyl zippered containers. So one of them I put all my first aid stuff into and the other i've started packing my toiletries into. This way everything is kept together and if anything spills, it's relatively contained. So my kitchen table is a little cleaner now that all my random stuff scattered all over the table has been organized and put away.

I'm also starting to get more and more nervous. I have nothing but time right now to sit here and think about the trip coming up. And as excited as I am, the more it becomes a reality, the more nervous I become too. Hopefully by the time I leave, I'll be so excited that the excitement and adventure will outweigh the nerves.

One Month!

Approximately....

Yesterday, I called Verizon to activate my phone for international use and make sure I had the right data plan added and all that jazz. I put it on my calendar to remind me so that I wouldn't forget to do it about a month before leaving.

Then, this morning in the shower it hit me... I'm leaving in a month!!! ONE MONTH!!!

5 years ago...

A few weeks back, my brother and I had ventured into a conversation of... "if you told me 5 years ago I'd be doing..." I think it's astonishing, to take a look at your life in 5 year increments. Five is a good number for setting goals and evaluating where you are in your life. It's a long enough span of time that you can accomplish something grand; but also have a realistic idea of where you might be in life.

Today's my last day of work, I started working here 5 years ago, plus a little time. When my brother and I were having this coversation and even now as I think about where I was five years ago, if you had told me I would be getting laid off and embarking on the adventure and dream of a lifetime, I would have laughed in your face and thought it to be impossible.

Looking at my life, it's mind boggling what's happened in the last five years, because it's been a LOT!! I managed to get myself out of a horribly abusive relationship, that I was in for part of the last 5 years and then some, and rebuild my life. That's the short version. There are so many facets to the whole story, I could probably have an entire blog on what I went thru leading up to the break up and in the year following my breakup. But the point of this whole post is that I've managed to take myself from a place where I didn't believe in myself, didn't care for myself, didn't do anything for me, to a place where rather than staying in the safety of my little routine, I'm breaking out and pursuing something I've always dreamed of doing. Regardless of the fact that it's a little scary!

I'm doing something with my life, something that some people will only dream of, something that my ex would have told me was ridiculous and impossible and I wouldn't be able to do it. If you had told me five years ago this is where I would be, I wouldn't have believed you, but I'm beyond thrilled with where I've ended up!!

Complications

Here I was, all ready to be done with work on Friday and excited about finally purchasing the ticket for the first half of my journey. And being able to write a post about how everything is official because I finally have a ticket. When low and behold, the bonus money I was going to use to do that isn't being disbursed until the end of the month!!!

GAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Hopefully this minor set back won't cause me to pay extra when it comes to booking my ticket. Because of this, i'll be booking the first flight only 17 days before I plan on leaving. This could get sticky. I guess if I need to, if it will make a dramatic impact on the cost, I could delay my departure by a week or so. Except that will cut into traveling time again and I already know I'm squeezing a lot into the amount of time I'm already working with.

Everything will work out. That's been my mantra lately. Not that things are falling apart, but I've definitely encountered different challenges than I was expecting.

The end of an era!

I'm sitting here at my desk.... my very empty lifeless desk... at work, with nothing to do. Which gives me ample opportunity to think. Friday is my last day of work. After five years, 3 months and 11 days, my time with the large nameless corporation will be coming to an end.

This event isn't so much an end of an era. Everyone get's new jobs and moves on. Although, I was at this job, in my position, longer than any other job. My previous employer is a very close second, but I managed to work my way up through the ranks from the receptionist, so while I may have been there for a few years, I didn't hold the same position the whole time.

But I digress....

The end of an era is more marked by the fact that since I started working... like really working full time at a real job and was able to strike out on my own and be fully independent... this will be the first time that I won't have a job! Nor will I be looking for a job!

When you've lived your life for the last 10 years working full time at a respectable job making a lot more than minimum wage where a certain level of performance is expected from you with little to no supervision... this whole unemployed thing can be a little daunting!! I'm not complaining, but it's defiitely been giving me a lot of food for thought. And my mom can attest to the fact that the phrase "I can't believe I'm not going to have a job" has come out of my mouth probably more than she cares to hear.

The whole event, series of events, is mind boggling and exciting and new!! It's empowering, even if it is daunting, to step out of the safety of my hum-drum life into this adventure awaiting me.

I look forward to not knowing what tomorrow will hold!!

Israel

Yesterday was the initial meeting for the people going on the Israel trip. Which I attended. It's just another indicator and reminder that this whole thing is real, and really happening, and rapidly approaching.

It was exciting, to be in a meeting about part of my trip, especially since it'll be the last leg of my trip. And after 9 months of having to fend for myself in foreign countries, it'll be nice to meet up with a group of people I'm familiar with and I won't have to think about anything. I can just follow a mass of American's and not make any decisions or find my own lodging, etc. etc. etc. It'll be interesting though, because while I'm out globe trotting, the people going on this trip will be having periodical meetings, history lessons (which I would LOVE!) and getting to know each other better. Whereas, I'll be coming in without having any of that bonding time. Kinda bummed about that, but in the grand scheme of things... Oh well!! I think I can survive coming in as kind of an outsider. Not really, but kind of.

If you might be interested in joinging the tour, check out this page. I'll be meeting them there and have heard of other people joining the trip from various other locations. You don't HAVE to leave from Vallejo with everyone. Space is limited though, so if you really are serious, sign up now!

AirTreks

One of the most common questions I get when someone learns about my plans to travel the world is....

How are you getting the ticket?

I have NEVER used a travel agent in my life. By the time I started traveling independently the internet was a viable wide spread resource and I've always booked my tickets and such online by myself. Well, I found this travel company that specializes in trips like what I'm doing.

AirTreks specializes in booking round the world travel. They're used to booking one way airfares and know which places are cheaper to fly in and out of. They know which places you can add to your itinerary for little to no extra cost. But most importantly, they're friendly, helpful and won't pressure you!! On top of the great service they provide, they have more resources than I know what to do with to help plan. Articles on how to budget, how to make sure you have enough money, how to cut back on costs and help your bank account if funds are running low, etc.

So when I found their website, I filled out the little inquiry thing with a crazy itinerary that's been scaled back quite a bit over the last several weeks. Still thinking I would just do all my own bookings while I was traveling. And then I got the email from them and I knew my life would never be the same! The ease and convenience of being able to have someone else do all the leg work for me was overwhelming. And the best part is that I'm not getting charged an arm and a leg. The prices that I've been quoted by AirTreks are comprable to the prices I've seen while doing my own searches on flights.

I have to say, AirTreks is AWESOME!!! And no, they have not paid me to post this, nor do they know I'm posting it. But now you all know my secret for how I'm arranging my flights.

The travel agent!

I got an email from the travel agent today, checking to see how plans were coming along for my trip and asking when I'd be ready to book the ticket. So I let him know next friday, the 14th is go day for booking the ticket!! Now I have to give him the specific details and find out what exactly a "booking appointment" is to find out if I want one or not. It's all becoming a lot more real and getting a lot closer.

The excitement is building, but so is the nervousness!!

wow...

I don't know if I just have an extra dose of common sense/manners or if my idea of what is polite is that different from other peoples. I had stopped by a friends office while I was running around and was updating her on all my plans. There was an older lady there that was helping in the office that day and while I was telling my friend about all the places I was going and what I was going to be doing. This other lady kept interjecting with why questions. Like... Why on earth am I doing this? Why would I want to do this? What are you going to eat? etc. etc. etc.

Luckily, throughout my life, I've had the pleasure of having people like this in my life and have learned how to control my tongue enough not to offend or piss anyone off. But the thing that I kept thinking was, how narrow-minded can someone be.

Maybe part of it is a generational thing, she was older. But, regardless of that, whether or not you would do what someone else is doing, as long as it's not something that will hurt them or others, wouldn't you try to be supportive of their decision? I don't know... I don't get it. I've never been one to let the fact that I'm a girl, and in this case and at this age, a SINGLE girl, stop me from doing anything. I don't think that my gender or my marital status should impact what I can and can not do. I don't see why someone should send off a single guy to go travel the world alone, and not have the same enthusiasm for a single girl. I understand that yes, there are definitely safety things, more safety things, that women travelers have to keep in mind and be aware of than men. But most of it is common sense and not putting yourself in stupid situations.

It also saddens me that someone can live their entire life without experiencing the world and the vast array of cultures. That's one of the best parts about traveling!

Well, I guess that's the end of my rant. I just had to get that off my chest. I guess partly because it was the first blatantly outright negative reaction to my decision to take this trip.

First Aid

In 2010 part of my health benefits was a health care savings account thing, where the company took out $15 from each paycheck and put it into a separate account accessible by a specific credit card. The result of this was a few hundred dollars to take care of various medical/health expenses during the year. The downside of this is, if you don't use the money by the end of the year, you lose it!! So guess who went shopping on Friday!

I had roughly $50 left in the account after receiving all my vaccines and other various medical expenses throughout the year. So I went to Target and stocked up on various items that I could imagine needing while traveling. The most abundant item purchased.... Immodium!!! Accompanying that is some pepto bismal tablets, aleve, cold pills, congestion pills, neosporin and bandaids. So the thing I'm having to think about now is, do I still take the first aid kit like i was first thinking about. You know, the kind you keep at home or in your car for just about every possible emergency. Or do I just take my medicine and bandaids and hope for the best?

Happy New Year!!

I have a hunch that 2011 is going to be an epic year full of epic adventures; changing my life forever!!

CAN NOT WAIT!!!