While I don't kid myself that there are tons of people reading this blog who don't know me at this point. I don't doubt that my audience could expand to include a larger crowd of people who don't know me in the future as my travels start and things get more interesting. Either way, this first, or second paragraph is more for the people that don't know me, than those that do. Although my friends may learn something new and get a better glimpse into how I think and why I do things the way I do.
Even though I don't loudly proclaim it or obnoxiously advertise it, the fact still remains that I am a Christian. I'm not a huge fan of proclaiming this because there are so many negative connotations associated with that label. There are people that have tarnished an association that should represent unconditional love, mercy and grace. I'd much rather say that I love God and let my actions represent my beliefs. I am very very very human and will never proclaim to be perfect. Another reason I'm not in peoples faces with my beliefs and convictions is because I had my time when I was living a different lifestyle and know how annoying it can be and how much of a turn off it can be to those who don't believe the same way. Like I stated before, I'd rather let my life do the talking.
Now with that being stated.....
I've come face to face with one of the biggest, longest running struggles of my life. FAITH!!!
I am very much of a "I have to see it to believe it" type of person. Very doubtful and cynical and when it comes to money... I prefer having more than less. It makes me feel safer knowing there's a buffer and a cushion in my bank account; especially as this adventure quickly approaches. So, it's the end of January, all my money has been paid out and I'm looking at real numbers as far as my trip budget. The good news, it's more than I was anticipating. The news I'm having a hard time with, I'm tithing on it. For those of you unfamiliar with this, I'm giving 10% to the church. It's not the tithing I have an issue with... well, maybe that's not the most accurate statement. It would be much more comforting for me to be able to keep the money in my account as a safety cushion and know its there and know I'll be covered and there won't be any chance of running out of money and being able to enjoy a few more luxuries here and there. Instead, I'm being obedient and am having to trust God that he will definitely provide and that everything will work out. Let me clarify something quickly; I'm not going out with an unrealistic budget, with some insanely small amount of money to live on for several months. I just like that security of having the extra cash.
So, here goes, the first of what I'm sure will be several lessons to allow myself to grow as a person and be molded into who He wants me to be.
*BIG SIGH*
By the way, 22 more days!
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