Something has come up in California that needs to be dealt with directly by me. Typically, this wouldn't be an issue. However, my current location makes things a little more complicated. As I continue to remind myself that God is in control and he's opened all the necessary doors to this point, it's still hard to not worry about it. I worry by nature, like it's built into me. I wasn't always like this, I don't know when this feature became such a normal one for me. But it has, and I'm learning how to take things as they come.
Of course the abundance of free time with not a whole lot of things or people to occupy it doesn't help to much either. Which unavoidably results in loneliness. I've noticed that I find myself missing home and friends the most in the mornings and in the evenings when I have nothing going on. My mind wanders to areas it shouldn't and it's a matter of keeping the floodgates of emotions closed and under control. Some days are harder than others. This weekend has been particularly hard. Not sure why, but it has been.
Part of me hopes that the stuff in California will cause everything to fall through so I have a legitimate excuse to go home early. I know that's lame. But at the same time, the majority of me doesn't want to lose this opportunity or have to cut it short for any reason.
It's just kind of a messy weekend.
You are right where you are supposed to be! I pray that God continually amazes you by the nearness of Himself. I'm praying that loneliness stays far away from you. You are so very loved and missed and have a ton of people praying for you. xo
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