D-Day

It's decision day!!

So, it seems that my issues I was having have been sorted out. I'll have to continue to see how things develop. But at the moment, they're settled enough for me to say I am continuing on with the trip as originally planned! Which means I won't be homeward bound until mid November.

Over the course of the last month, there have actually been several decisions that have been made. I was asked to be on staff with YWAM in Jaipur and I made a final decision about that as well. I made today my "date" for determining that. And the answer is no. When I wrote the original post it may have sounded like I was leaning towards yes. Which I was at the time. But after a LOT of prayer and thinking and evaluating I decided against it. This trip, this time, is MY time. That sounds selfish, but I think I'll be robbing myself of some spectacular moments, in several regards. I'm not ready to start investing and pouring into other people's lives. I still need my time of being poured into! There were actually SEVERAL things that led me to the decision I made, this just happens to be the biggest.

I don't know if this can be classified as a decision or a revelation, or maybe a bit of both. But I've decided once I do get home to pursue an education in international finance so I can follow through with doing micro-financing and go back to Calcutta to call home and do micro financing there. This is something that will take years to accomplish, so i'm not moving to India tomorrow or anything. But it's something that will impact several areas of my life. The biggest being my dream to have a family.

I've come to a point where I have to choose between following God's dream or my dream. I've chosen God's dream. Although it means I may never get married and have a family... I'm willing to make that sacrifice because I know I'll never be happier than in the middle of His plan for me. I'm already excited about going to school to study and coming back to Calcutta to do this. Even if it is a bit bittersweet at the thought of doing it all alone. I know God can work miracles and there's a possibility of a guy out there somewhere who shares a heart for Calcutta. But at this point in time, I need to embrace the idea of doing this alone and being single..... FOREVER!

I know God will work it all out the way He sees fit, even if I don't understand it.